What is Domestic Violence?

 

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

 

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

 

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

 

 

If you recognize yourself in any of these situations, you may be in an abusive relationship.

 

For Additional Information, visit this DANGER ASSESSMENT WEBSITE

An emotional abuser: 

  • calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.

  • does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.

  • tries to isolate you from family or friends.

  • monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.

  • does not want you to work.

  • controls finances or refuses to share money.

  • punishes you by withholding affection.

  • expects you to ask permission.

  • threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.

  • humiliates you.

 

 

A financial abuser:

  • sabotages work by stalking or harassing at the workplace.

  • controls how money is spent.

  • denies access to bank accounts.

  • withholds money or gives an allowance.

  • runs up large amounts of debt on joint accounts.

  • withholds funds for basic needs such as food and medicine.

  • demands a partner’s public benefits.

A physical abuser:

  • damages property when angry (throw objects, punch walls, kick doors, etc.).

  • pushes, slaps, bites, kicks or chokes you.

  • abandons you in dangerous or unfamiliar places.

  • scares you by driving recklessly.

  • uses a weapon to threaten or hurt you.

  • forces you to leave your home.

  • traps you in your home or keep you from leaving.

  • prevents you from calling police or seeking medical attention.

  • hurts your children.

  • uses physical force in sexual situations.

 

 

A sexual abuser:

  • views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.

  • accuses you of cheating or appears jealous of your outside relationships.

  • wants you to dress in a sexual way.

  • insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.

  • forces or manipulates you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.

  • holds you down during sex.

  • demands sex when you are sick, tired or after beating you.

  • hurts you with weapons or objects during sex.

  • involves other people in sexual activities with you.

  • ignores your feelings regarding sex.

 

Below are Some Questions to Ask Yourself 

 

Check to see if you have any of the warning signs for domestic abuse.

 

1. Does your partner humiliate or put you down in front of friends and family members? 

2. Is your partner extremely jealous or possessive? 

3. Does your partner need to know where you are all the time and often check in on you? 

4. Is your view of your relationship completely different from the way your partner views your relationship? 

5. Are you starting to feel like you are losing your mind because you are starting to believe what your partner says about you? 

6. Do you do everything you can to try to make your partner happy only to hear that it's all wrong? 

7. Have you ever been afraid of your partner's temper? 

8. Have you ever not expressed your opinion or feelings because you are afraid of your partner's reaction? 

9. Does your partner act like the abusive behavior is nothing, blame you for it, or tell you that it doesn't happen? 

10. Has your partner ever threatened you with weapons of any sort? 

11. Has your partner ever threatened suicide, especially if you leave? 

12. Do you have to ask your spouse for permission to see family or friends? 

13. Is access to any money, even your paycheck or other funds, limited, or do you have to ask permission to spend anything? 

14. Do you feel totally isolated? 

15. Has your partner alienated all your friends and family? 

16. Are you confused by your partner's charming behavior in company and abusive behavior at home? 

17. Does your partner only see you or any children as property with no rights? 

18. Have you ever been forced to have intimate relations? 

19. Are you starting to believe that you are worthless and deserve this treatment? 

20. Has your partner ever destroyed your property such as ripping up your clothes or breaking sentimental items? 

21. Have you ever been denied basic necessities? For example, food being hidden so you have to ask for it. 

22. Do you feel numb or try to feel numb inside? 

23. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt or kill pets, or actually hurt your pets? 

24. Does your partner make all the decisions in your home, even the little ones? 

25. Does your partner threaten to take away your children, or tell you that you are a bad parent? 

26. Has your partner ever hit, shoved, choked or slapped you, even if they said they were just playing rough? 

27. Have you ever been afraid of your partner? 

28. Are you worried about your partner's reaction if anyone compliments you? 

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